After listening to the recording of the satsang of “Giving the lilies” (Youtube video January 2024) …I had an amazingly healing dream. I remember listening to the recording and really connecting with Jesus before going to bed. I can’t remember now what they were, but I remember life events of the past passing before my eyes and doing forgiveness practices on them, refusing to accept them as true and asking for another way to see them. I fell asleep and had a dream in the early morning hours.
In my dream, I got off a bus. I began looking into a lovely window display. Suddenly there was a jolt in my body. I realized with a terrible sinking feeling, that I had forgotten to ask the person I was enjoying so much on the bus to get off that bus stop with me!
I couldn’t believe it! I had messed up horribly. I couldn’t think about anything except that I felt so absolutely horrible, hopeless, dejected and miserable. So sad. Like I had messed up something that could never ever be corrected. Just so so so sad. I felt So Sad.
I turned around to look at the bus driving away. The person had gotten off the bus without me asking her to, as if she had just known to, as if she just knew that I loved her without me saying anything!! There she was, standing there, beaming at me with the most radiant and joyous expression. She looked at me and said, “You are so beautiful.”
I woke up with the most glorious feeling and I think tears in my eyes. I was sort of stunned and so happy!
This healed something in my mind I have been holding onto from an old story with my mom and me as a child. I have been asking and asking for help to see it differently and waiting patiently. The help comes as an experience that I am opening up to by doing the practices.
I know some fear/guilt/shame has left my mind because I was able to show up for my nephew and his family in a way I would have previously been afraid to. I also have been able to show up for my dad the same way.